You didn't know??

I figured it was time for a fun post. I write so much about my personal life, and most of the time it is about mommy stuff, so I wanted to share some fun facts about myself.

* I hate avocado.Yes this means I hate guacamole.
* I will eat guacamole that is made by family and friends because I don't want to be rude.
*I had surgery on both of my eyes at the age of 4. They had to fix weak muscles in my eyes. I remember it.
*I also had surgery on my kidneys at age 5 I believe. I remember that too. My kindergarten teacher came to my house after I had surgery and she brought me lots of fun activities to do. I loved her! Oh, and when I was in recovery at the hospital it was Halloween and I had to miss out, so lots of famous people came around to the patients and gave out candy and toys. I also remember a tree catching on fire outside of my room. And something crazy....they had me so doped up on morphine after that surgery that I had hallucinations. I remember seeing monkeys in my face, and being so scared. My parents took care of it, and the nurses I'm sure got in trouble because they gave me too much!
*I cannot live without chocolate.
*My heart lives through music. I can relate to so many songs that I HAVE to hear them often. And yes, my kids have to listen to me belt em' out in the car. :)
*"You are my sunshine" is the first song I taught each one of my kids. But I sing it with their name in it. "You are my William, my only William" :)
*Nick and I will be married for 8 years this November.
*I have anxiety, that comes and goes when it pleases. I'm too scared to be on medicine for it....but I probably should be.
*I hate Halloween. I know, how could a mom hate it....:P I just hate how expensive costumes are and all the work, for a couple hours of walking kids that are dragging their costumes and making you hold masks, swords, and buckets!! My kids don't know this :)
*I want to adopt a baby when all of my children are older.....and out of the house lol.
*Every time I speak to/text my father, my anxiety creeps up.
*I did a modeling class when I was about 12. I liked it, but didn't feel like it was me at the time.
*I worry too much. About everything.
*I have had three kids, 3 epidurals and 1 messed up really really bad. It turned my world upside down while I was in pain, and for several months after.
*I love fried eggs on white toast. It must be white....it's just not the same with wheat.
*Sometimes I forget I have my tubes tied.
*I hate scary movies. I don't even let Nick tell me about scary movies he's seen.
*I pray and give thanks every night. I cannot imagine going to sleep without praying. I don't consider myself religious.....but I started praying to God when I had a really hard time getting pregnant with Laura.
*I used to play Halo with Nick, my brother and some friends for hours and hours every night. It was so much fun. We then had Laura, then Katie and my life became too busy and tiring to stay up so late!
*I am not a night person.
*When my alarm goes off in the morning, I get up right away, and it drives me nuts that Nick pushes the snooze on his. lol. ;)
*I put too much pressure on myself.
*I was born in Germany.
*My favorite meal to make is Chilli. It's my moms recipe and it makes me feel like I'm back at home.
*When we moved to Redding, I had a really hard time for a while. It was a lot of change and I missed (still do!!) my family so much.
*I won't let Laura walk home from the bus stop. I am not sure when or if I ever will. Yes, I'm a helicopter parent. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm terrified of her (and all of my kids)being taken.
*I judge mothers who let their children walk around the store with only a diaper. I know its not right....but it's the truth.
*I spend my life being the best mom and wife I can be. I longed for so long to be a mom. I will do everything I can to raise happy, healthy, smart and caring children. BUT it's sometimes overwhelming, and extremely stressful!!!!
*I will not let my kids have a facebook or any type of social network page. It's not worth it.
*I love coffee, and collect coffee mugs.
*Fall is my favorite season.
* I love to bake. My thighs do not like this. ;)
*I hate texting. I do it.....but I HATE it. I hate hearing my phone go off.
*My favorite restaurant is in Arizona. Macayos. YUM!!
*I love reading, and wish I had more time to myself to read more.
*I miss being pregnant all the time. I LOVE having a baby in my belly, and feeling all those kicks. There is nothing like it!
*Sometimes I shop online. I put lots of different things that I love in my shopping cart and then right before I go to bed at night, I remove them all from my cart. LOL!
*I can see fakeness in people, very quickly.
*When I was pregnant with Laura, I listened to Celine Dione all the time.
*When I'm at home, I like to wear my big comfy robe over my clothes. Over pj's or my daily outfits. It's cozy.
*I love buying new candles.
*I have a soft spot in my heart for baby socks.
*When I was pregnant with William I was addicted to buying baby blankets. I already had plenty!!!
*I love wearing cute necklaces, earrings, and bracelets, but I can't wear any other rings, besides my wedding ring.
*I'm terrified of bee's.
* I have to have the fan on, and have a big blanket over me to sleep.
*I LOVE MAKEUP. And in high school was teased that I wore too much makeup. It really hurt my feelings, and sometimes to this day I will ask Nick "am I wearing too much makeup?"
*One of my most favorite things to do, is to get my hair done. I love it.
*I am obsessed with bean dip.
*Christmas is my favorite holiday. I LOVE finding fun things for the kids, filling the stockings, listening to Christmas music, drinking lots of hot chocolate, and watching the kids open gifts early in the morning.
*I listen to Christmas music as soon as November hits and don't stop until far after Christmas has past....around Feruary lol!
*I feel like people stare at me when we go out to eat. I can't be the only one that feels like that, but I really hate it.
* I have a set of grandparents that have never called, emailed, or written to see how their great grandchildren are doing.
*I hate buying jeans. Woman's worst nightmare lol!
*I wear glasses a lot of the time that I'm at home....but when I am out, I usually leave them at home. It became a habit in high school.
* I HATE watching anyone brush their teeth.
*Most mornings I have coffee for breakfast.
*I have used the same brand of foundation (makeup) for about 5 years now. I love it and would cry if they stopped making it! (Revlon colorstay)
*I love watching makeup and hairstyle tutorials on youtube.

So there are some fun facts about me. :) I am sure I will be jotting down more here and there. I swear you can learn a lot about yourself when you write down facts.

Doing so much and feeling like it's not enough.

Do any of you feel that way sometimes? Oh please, I know you do. I CAN'T be the only one. I've been a stay at home mom for almost 10 years now. I seriously can't believe I just said that. Typed it? Whatever. Anyway, 10 years is a LONG time!

Today wasn't a great day for me. I will admit that being a stay at home mom has many challenges. Keeping your sanity is probably number one ;) My life literally revolves around every person in my family. Around their schedules. I feel two ways about this. Frustrated. What about me?! And yet at the same time, I feel blessed. Proud that I am that mom, that is so involved.

Today I was up at 6am (thank you sweet Katie), and immediately got ready, then got the kids ready for school. Dropped off the older two and then took Katie to her dental appointment (who by the way, has perfect teeth....pat on my back.....just one of those mama proud moments) I then took her to walmart to pick up a few things, including Clorox wipes.....where the hell do they all end up going....and a new preschool workbook for my Katie bug, who has become eager to have her own "homework". We ran home quickly, dropped off everything, kissed Nick and the kids goodbye and drove to Lauras school to help out in her class, which I do every Thursday. I was there for a couple hours. I got into my truck to come home and ouch.....bad headache. Great! Yet no surprise being in a room full of first graders! ;)

I came home and Nick had to get to school early so he could study for a couple exams. He's been gone since 1pm. I made lunch, cleaned up lunch, got kids to take a nap, and then just as quickly, had to get them up, so we could get Laura from the bus stop. Did homework, Nicholas came home, had him do his homework, made a big dinner with my little boy, who  all of a sudden has this itch to help mama cook. I don't mind. :) After dinner we played outside (mind you this headache is laughing at me, at the mere thought of it going away any time soon) and then came inside once I felt my head was JUST about to explode. It didn't. hehe. Got my babies in the bath, Laura took her shower and I had Nicholas vacuum for me. Thank god for having a teenager that is capable of helping out. Books were read, teeth brushed, and kisses were given out. My two little ones are in bed while the two older's are still up.

I do all this usually on a day to day basis. When Nick is home, he is the best dad, and does SO much....so of course I LOVE when he is home.

I haven't mentioned the most important things that I must accomplish daily. Raising my kids. I'm not talking about the nose wiping, and the feeding. I'm talking about teaching them how to behave, how to love and share and have manners. How to care for others, and themselves. I mean, you know, the list goes on. Sometimes, at the end of the day I think to myself.....did I do enough? Did I give this child enough love? Did he feel left out? Did I ignore her when she was asking a question about homework, because once again her brother was DYING for my attention at that exact moment? Did I yell when I should have taken a breath and gathered myself? I go through this nightly. And many nights I tell myself "tomorrow is a new day".....I try hard every day to be a great mom. To be involved, loving, a good role model, and somehow fit in a minute to remain myself, Kristin. I forget about me a lot. I type my name sometimes and think wow....I forgot I have a name. You may laugh, but it's true. I am mom, or hunny. I am "help me" and "have you seen?".

There are days that I wonder how I got through. I absolutely adore each one of my children, but I am not perfect. I get angry and frustrated, overwhelmed and irritated. It's been almost 10 years, and I am still learning, each day. Some days I wake up so excited to do my thing. My mommy thing. This was a choice for me. I didn't accidentally become a mother, and a stay at home one at that. Then there are days that I feel like I slept for 20 minutes and I have to do it all again.

The immediate needs are met for every one of my kids. They are fed, clothed, clean, loved, safe, warm and protected. The long term needs are what every mother (and father) really worries about. Are we screwing up our kids if we lose our cool sometimes? Is it mean to tell them "I just don't want to play right now." ??? I can't be "on" all the time. Sometimes I need to sit and blink, without a kid asking for help with getting the hair ties out of barbies hair, or listening to a 10 minute story about the bus ride home.

I love them, and all of their stories......but mama needs a minute, sometimes!

I've found sleep is the cure all. Really. Tonight I will go to sleep and tomorrow I will wake up ready to go at it again. Mommy mode is so much nicer when we are well rested! I'm learning to not second guess myself each night. To know that sometimes kids have to entertain themselves, and its ok to require some time for ourselves.

Each year I am learning new things, about my kids, and myself. It's a hard job......and even when I am doing so much and feeling like its not enough.....I still love it.

Where are the parents??

I've got a bone to pick with a lot of parents.

I can't count how many times I have driven down a busy street, and see 5, 6, 7 year old kids walking home from school. Alone. Am I a helicopter parent, or am I right to feel that at that age and in THIS day, it's a little crazy? I can't imagine letting Laura walk home....from anywhere, except the neighbors lol! Kids now days are taken too often.

I try to think outside of my own little mind.....maybe the parents have to work. Well then why not have a friend or family member pick the kid up? Maybe it's a single parent, or a couple that is new to town? No, I'm sorry, I can't find any reason when a parent would let a child that young walk home alone, and it be ok. I just can't. Call me judgemental, but it's lazy in my opinion.

Today, I went to my son's middle school, and spent two periods sitting in class with him. Not only was I pretty surprised at the way girls dressed, but I was surprised that it seemed OK, to the staff. Where are the parents??? Ok, you have to rush out of the house in the AM, not seeing what your child wears to school, I get it. Why are you allowing those clothing items in your home in the first place? You don't have to fear them wearing them if they aren't in their closets.

I'm NOT saying everyone should raise their children the way I raise mine. Or dress them the way I dress mine. I AM however saying.....why aren't we teaching our daughters to dress with self respect?

It's a shame, to see a 12 year old with short shorts, knee highs, high heels, and a skin tight top.

Moms.....and I am addressing moms, because I honestly feel that women can relate to their daughters better, when it comes to fashion. You can let your daughters have a sense of style, their OWN style, and still have them look age appropriate. How can we let our kids leave the house and not ever think about disgusting men starring at their 12 year olds as they cross the cross walk? It happens. I see it DAILY as I drop my son off at school. I see girls carrying purses, wearing little tops and tie's. It's sad to me. How did our tweens and NEW teens grow up into their 20's so quickly? Why are we allowing it?

I remember being in middle school, and call me a nerd (I probably was) but I still wore Winnie the pooh leggings. No, I'm not making that up. :) I had a wonderful time in middle school, and not an ounce of it was focused on what I wore. I get that kids are "different" now, but they don't have to be.

I certainly understand that Winnie the pooh is out (I still like it though, haha!), and fashion is bigger at this age, but we need to SHOW our tweens, who I need to add are in a crucial point in their lives, that they CAN dress their age, and look cute.

My mom let me pick out whatever I wanted at the store.....as long as it wasn't too short, no heals, and nothing too tight. I thought that was fair. She was allowing me to find my own style, yet setting a boundary that I still carry with me today.

Mom's, please take a moment to look at your daughter before sending her to school. She will thank you one day, I promise.

Happy Birthday Nicholas!!!!

Dear Nicholas,

 You are now 13! I seriously cannot believe that you are a teenager now. It has been such a wonderful ride, being your mom. I remember the first time I met you. You were so tiny. So in need of a mom. You could say a few words, but that was pretty much it. I was saddened by this. You were three years old, and so beautiful. Pale skin, and blond hair. You were amazingly sweet, and I could tell, you loved me right away.
 You wasted no time at all.....you chose to call me mom very quickly, which I will admit at only 18, that was an adjustment for me. I quit my job, moved in with your dad, and became mom. There was no question to you....I was the apple of your eye, and your were mine too :)
 We spent our days playing in the park, going on adventures through the mall, and just being mom and son. We set out to always have fun and enjoy our time together. I made your lunches, kissed your owies, tucked you in at night, and checked on you when you were fast asleep. You have always known that you didn't grow in my belly, but instead, in my heart. I was young, but I was ready to be your mom. We needed each other.
 You made me a mom, and you taught me so much. Not only about being  a mother, but about being a GREAT mother. I thank you for that. We've been patient with each other for all these years, and learned so much from each other.
 Looking back on all the years I've been your mom, almost 10 now, brings me such joy. I feel like I've raised a pretty great kid. You goof around in school (a little too much), but you mean well. You are so loving, and truly enjoy life to the fullest.
 We've gone through so many adventures together. First days of school, trips across the country, first crushes, first heartbreak's, becoming a big brother, moving to California, and now becoming a teenager. You've grown right before my eyes, and I feel extremely blessed to be able to call you my son.

 

 I've loved you from the moment I saw you, and I will love you for the rest of my life. I take pride in knowing that you will call me mom, for the rest of your life. I love you son. Thank you for loving me as your mom, and holding my hand through these adventures. Here is to many more wonderful adventures to come!

 Love always,
    Mom <3


Here are some pictures to show you, how much you've grown over the years!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Katelee!!!

Oh my little Katie bug. You are now 4 years old! I can't believe it, can you?! Where did those 4 years go? Ah....I remember.....we played, and went on adventures. We hugged and gave big kisses. We read fairy tales, and watched silly movies. We held hands and played follow the leader. We baked, and ran free at the park. We laughed and whispered silly secrets. We added a baby brother and learned what it is like to be a big sister. We shared, and had times of sadness, we learned, and sang songs. We moved, and made friends. We showed kindness, and compassion. But above all, we loved.

The past 4 years, have been simply wonderful. You alone, make every day new and exciting. You were born a leader, but with something else......you know how to step back and let others take the lead. You share more than many older kids. You are sweet, and helpful. You are giving, and kindhearted. You've made me smile more than I could ever begin to count, and made me feel a love that only YOU can make me feel.

Your unique personality, is something so special. I pray you never lose the way you are. You are so loving to everyone around you. You like to be alone sometimes. It's taken me a couple of years to understand that, that is ok. As a matter of fact, your teacher Mrs. Danelle, taught me, that we need all types of personalities in this world. We need the loud, the quiet, the sweet and the curious. You go to school and immediately become an observer. You look at people, and can see the goodness in all of them. YOU bring it out in everyone. Especially me.

You've brought so much love into our family. You're tight hugs, and soft voice, are things I simply adore about you. You may be getting older, but you will forever be my baby girl. The baby that I held up and said "IT'S A GIRL!"....the baby that sneezed instead of cried when she was born, the baby that had the most adorable line on the tip of her nose. I still kiss it. :) That line means so much to me. It sets you apart. It was the first sign to me, that you would be special. That you would really teach everyone in your life, so much. And you have. You've taught us how to slow down. To stop and listen. To love beyond words.

I'm so proud to be your mom. And I am so proud to call you my sweet daughter. Mommy believes you will have a big impact on this world. You've made a big impact on my world, and I thank you for that. Thank you for making me a good mother to you and your siblings. Thank you for giving me a hug when only you, a 4 year old child, can see I need one. Thank you for teaching your siblings to care. You don't know it yet, but I believe that YOU have been a very good bonding tool for all of your siblings.

Our life would not be whole without you, sweet Katie. I look forward to many more years of sticky finger prints, soft voices, stories about your toys, big tight hugs and lots and lots of LOVE.

I love you beautiful Katie.

Love,

 Your mommy <3

Here are some pictures to show how much you've grown :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A day in the life....

I woke up today, like I do most day's.....running the list through my head of drop off times, pick up times, is today my volunteer day, what errands do I need to run, what am I cleaning today, how many loads of laundry do I have, and the dreaded.....what will I make for dinner?

We all have the list that we go through. Whether you work, stay at home, or whatever, its an on going "life list". Our lists leave us overwhelmed, frustrated and sometimes, or better yet, hopefully most of the times, feeling satisfied with the lives we have chosen.

My lists lately have been so long and so never ending, that I forget where to start. Making me start new lists just for my old lists :) We have 5 birthdays between now and Christmas (counting mine), Halloween, Thanksgiving, school parties, field trips, appointments, school projects, a trip for me to AZ, anniversaries, and much much more. Here I am making an entirely new list.

I have all 4 of my children, born 6 days apart from one of their siblings. Katie is September 30th and Nicholas is October 6th. Then William is December 8th, and Laura is December 15th. Sigh......why didn't we plan that better? ;)

This time of year is my absolute favorite though. I am extremely busy with all of the above and I thrive off of it. I was totally meant to be a hands on mama! I love getting birthday parties together and setting up for the holidays. I've always said I LOVE summer, but I think fall is my favorite. The weather becomes cooler, and the coffee seems to smell better :)

I hope your lives are full and happy, especially this time of year. Let's grab our coffee's, tea's, or cocoa's and enjoy the beautiful mornings together. Whether we are all near or far, smile and soak up the beautiful days.

My kitchen is my office.

  My kitchen is literally the catch all in my home. Today I thought to myself, I'm going to take a picture of each and every object that is left on my counter, for me to magically take care of. Then I though.....nah....too much work. I'd be in my kitchen all day taking pictures. ;)

 I find things from change, empty cups, SHOES, remotes, toys, backpacks, papers, mail, half eaten snacks, papers, crayons, papers, art supplies.....you see what I'm getting at. And yes, lots of papers! I'm a very organized person and I don't think my family has gotten that memo yet. I am CONSTANTLY cleaning, and feel like it has gotten out of hand with everything my family is leaving me on my counters! All day long my counters will be clean, absolutely nothing on them but my pretty plant, and a yummy smelling candle, until the rush of children come in from school.

 I have all the chore charts on the fridge, my calendar for the month is on the wall near the door, and another calendar that I can write on for months in advance hangs on the end of my cabinets. I have a binder for all things for the kids schools. Papers I need to read, papers I save for them to study and so on. I have a wooden bowl that holds a memo pad and pens. My "junk drawer", is not really my junk drawer, its for my scissors, tacks, dry erase markers, bills and wax for my scent warmer thing....stuff like that. Basically my kitchen is my mommy office. Obviously my family doesn't get that. To them, its the "mom will take care of it room".

 Today I found my husbands SHOES on the KITCHEN COUNTER. Really? I understand leaving your shoes in the middle of the floor, to go do something real quick, but who puts shoes on a kitchen counter? YUK! Nicholas comes home, empties his backpack and folders and leaves everything on my counter. Yes, I said my counter. They all have their rooms, I have my kitchen :)

 Today I have made it clear to my family, that the kitchen is not a place to leave every thing imaginable. It's my space. I cook in there, I do school paper work, all my mommy stuff happens in there. So they are now clear that the kitchen is my office. Not their bedroom, or their closet. I wonder how long it will last??


Ahh....that felt good :)