There have been many times in my life when I would have to take a step back and evaluate certain situations, people, and goals. We all do it. We get to a point sometimes, when you feel that something just isn't right. Maybe there are people in your life that aren't in your life for the right reasons. Maybe you feel like the path you are walking, needs to turn a bit.
The past year has been big for me. I will be 29 on Saturday (October 19), and I can't tell you how many times I've had to reevaluate things in my life. I've learned this year to have a back bone. My life is about me, my husband and our children. I've had to step back and see things from the outside a bit.
My father for instance.....what was the point of having him in my life at all the past year? I'm not sure. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and one day in my life, or maybe when my days are over, I will understand why HE was any part of my life for any amount of time. Right now I don't understand, and I'm ok with that.
He more than anyone, has taught me to really stand up for what I believe in, WHO I believe in, and to make myself happy. It hasn't been easy to go through the steps for me to get to this point. Hurting feelings, telling truths, and walking my own path, may hurt some in the process.....but we all lead our own lives. I walk this one for me and my family.
I see myself as an honest, and caring person. I so badly want to bring joy to others around me. To make other's smile. I want to inspire others to be more caring. I do this daily, smiling at strangers in the store, helping when I can, lending a hug to another mom at the girls school, when I can see she needs it most.
But I'm human. I have feelings too. I should be able to voice my opinion, say it how it is sometimes, and get angry.
I have learned this year that it's OK for me to feel the way I feel about certain things. I'm the type of person that wants to fix everything. I want to apologize when I shouldn't have to, and I want to make it all better for everyone. I want to back track when I've said how I REALLY feel, and I want to look over things that truly bother me. This year however.....I've learned to STOP doing that.
I'm not the queen of fixing everything. I can't make things perfect for everyone, and you know what........I'm not saying sorry EVER, for how I feel about anything. I am entitled to my opinions and feelings, and if it upsets you in the meantime.....then maybe it's you that has some reevaluating to do. :/
My point is......each year I've learned more about life, but most importantly, more about myself. I like me. I feel like I am happy in my skin and in my mind. This year has been a big learning experience for me. It's been a bumpy road.....but I've grown from every single bump.
I'm believe that we all have a voice for a reason. To stand up for something that is bigger than ourselves, and to make sure how YOU feel, is heard. Sometimes it is hard to change things in your life, but change, no matter how scary.....is always good.