Saturday, January 28, 2012

When does it get better?

 I'm feeling particularly anxious lately. For three days in a row now, I've felt nervous, and worried. I'm so tired, and just want to not feel my heart race.

 I've been dealing with some anxiety issues since I was pregnant with Katie. At least, that's when I began to notice it. I'm sure we all deal with degrees of's normal, but right now I'm more anxious than normal. I think it does stem from my father. All the issues I've dealt with over the years.

 I will just be doing my normal day to day stuff and all of a sudden feel hot, and worried. I think to myself "what am I so nervous about?" and then before I can blink I'm thinking and worrying about every possible thing to worry about. Kids, finances....everything. We all have these same worries and stress's. Today is bugging me though. It's the 3rd day I've felt like this (several times each day) and each time I feel anxious, I also feel emotional.

 Tonight for example......I all of a sudden feel my heart racing and am taking deep breaths. I become immediately emotional thinking about how it was my fathers birthday recently and I didn't want to call him. I didn't speak to him. Then my mind switches to wow.....I never got to take a bath with William when he was a newborn.....that's so sad for me. That was a big deal for me when I had my girls....and I missed out on that with William because of the epidural problems.

 Sigh......I guess I just need to vent....or ramble about how I'm feeling right now. I've been doing great lately. Feeling happy and content in my life. But this week has been hard with this anxious feeling. It only lasts a few minutes, I feel a lot of different emotions sometimes, but nervous is the most frequent. What the hell?!

 Also the most frequent is my mind going straight to my father. My anger with him. it is.....affecting my life, and THAT is why I'm angry. I'm not sure how it all fits in together, but it just does. I'm wanting it to go away....I'm wanting my anger with him to go away and I want to stop worrying about the future and how we might not speak to each other again.

 I can only hope writing about this can help in some way. I feel really angry tonight, and I'm not even sure specifically what about. Just angry about him in general. Why? Maybe it would do me some good to actually talk to a professional. Just to get my thoughts out and have some feedback about these feelings. That right there....just typing that makes me feel frustrated. I told Nick YEARS ago, that one day my father would put me in therapy. Sigh......

 So I'm off for bed. I'm going to breath and think about all the amazing positive things I have in my life. I am truly a lucky girl to have such great loving kids, a husband that would do anything for me, family that loves me unconditionally, and friends that are always there for me. These things will always bring a smile to my face and a calming to the anxious feelings I have been getting.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Putting yourself first is A-OK!

 In October of last year I decided to start putting myself first. Now, I know what you are thinking "how awful of this mother to put her children last!". Hardly! What I mean is, I was finding myself not ever working out, rarely drinking water....or anything, holding my pee for hours, eating quick junk snacks that I could grab and go.....all because EVERYTHING else came first.
 I set a few REQUIREMENTS for myself. I made myself drink a glass of water each time I had to go into the kitchen. Boom.....I was immediately drinking more water than I needed in a day, because as mothers we all know the kitchen is basically where life is revolved around. I told myself, each time a kid woke up from a nap, I needed to go to the restroom before getting him/her. Because it might be hours before I got the chance again!
 How crazy is it that as parents we literally put our needs last for our children, spouses, CLEANING. I was tired of it. I'm a person. I have needs and wants too and by golly......they will be met! :)
 I've lost 30 pounds since the beginning of October. Which means I've lost a total of 65 pounds in one year. Wow. Mostly because I told myself I am good enough to put myself first sometimes. I asked Nick to do whatever he needed to do to give me one hour a day to workout. He gladly has helped. I am lucky to have him, and to have him realize my needs.
 So, for all you moms that are eating junk food because its quick....stop. Take 10 minutes to make yourself a meal you will feel happy about eating. GO PEE for goodness sake! It's bad for us women to hold it you know! That bladder of yours only gets lower from here on out! So do it a favor and empty it! WORKOUT!!! Stop the excuses. Yes, they are ALL excuses. Working out sucks. It hurts and you sweat and sometimes you feel like a fool doing all the moves that, the perfect lady in the dvd is doing. Do it anyway. That lady isn't perfect!!! :) Read. Put the kids to bed 10 minutes earlier than normal and take that extra time to read. You will feel more relaxed and centered after reading anything...except a magazine ;) DRINK WATER!! Soda is easy to grab but your stomach hates it. Believe me. Stop drinking it for a month and then take a swig of that junk.....barf! You wont go back...I promise! Your body needs water to survive. You will feel more full, happy and not in a funk if you drink more water. You will save money while you are at it!!
 My basic message here is that its ok to do things for yourself. Its ok to say, "I need to workout, please take the kids". "I'm going to window shop, because I want to". We live one life. How awful would it be to look back and see that you never had your needs met. Obviously our kids and spouses are the most important priorities to all of us....but don't ever forget about yourself. You are pretty important too! ;)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Sometimes you have to say it like it is.

 Katie is now 3 years old. I am not sure how three years has gone so darn fast.....all I know is my little Katie bug has all of a sudden found her personality, and boy oh boy is it a big one!!

 She has always been more outspoken and a natural leader than some of our other children. She was born with a beautiful personality that truly draws people to her. I am just lucky to be her mama, and get to spend each and every day with her. Hearing her silly remarks and stories, watching her grow into a little girl and not a toddler.

 They say when a child hits 2, they go through the terrible twos. I beg to differ. It begins a bit earlier than 2, and doesn't magically go away when they wake up on their third birthday. Lets be real here.....after about 13 months, the terror begins!! My oldest son Nicholas will be 13 next October.....he is still going through his own phase of fits. I don't think it ever really ENDS. I think we just grow and learn how to handle our feelings and emotions. I'm 27 and I still have days when I feel a little frazzled and would love to stomp and kick and cry for a good 10 minutes. Maybe 20. :) So for the new moms out there.....don't say I never warned you ;) A good mom just LEARNS how to handle a childs temper tantrums, emotions and frustrations. It's normal, and it took me a while to figure that out. Each child has to deal with things differently from his or her siblings.

 Laura was so easy. She was my first baby and a delight! She had it made though. Nicholas went to school all day and Laura had 100% of my attention while he was away. When he would come home from school, Laura would be thrilled to see him and to have a playmate. Then Katie came into the picture. She and I had our special mama/daughter time when Laura started preschool. After we moved here and William was born, that all changed. I feel guilty to say that she had to share the mama time, and was no longer the "baby" of the family. She did great with being the big sister for a while and then about 4 months ago started having some big fits. It killed me and I immediately felt guilty.

 Katie is in preschool, and with 3 siblings, she doesn't get 100% of my attention 100% of the time. I'm one person, trying to give 4 kids the love, support and guidance they all need from their mom. Laura did great becoming a big sister and not being the baby.....Katie is a different person and will respond differently to some situations. A couple months ago, she threw the biggest fit, stopped to her room and slammed her door shut. My THREE year old. Yea.....OMG! So I immediately run to her trying to hug her and fix it. I quickly learned this doesn't work for Katie. She is more independent than that. I can easily fix things for Laura and she is happy and will move on. Katie however I have learned to take a different route with. I have to give her a few minutes to herself before going to her. She is literally telling me she wants to be alone to figure out her emotions by walking away. I give her about 3 minutes and sit next to her. Usually I begin with something like "You were trying to get mama's attention and I was making lunch, changing a diaper and on the phone. You wanted me to get you a drink and I didn't help you did I?".....she will usually not look at me and said "No" as mad sounding as she can possibly get. With Laura, I can easily fix it right there by saying "I'm sorry hunny, lets get your drink now". Not Katie. She wants an explanation, she needs to be talked down. It is so simple, but it took me a while to learn HOW to talk her down from feeling frustrated. With Katie I have to say "Oh my goodness, how did that make you feel when I didn't hear you?" and she will say "mad" or "sad". I will respond with "Katie I'm so sorry I didn't hear you. I would feel sad too if you didn't hear me. Mommy will have to put on better ears for next time." I will give her a hug and say "I love you so much and I'm so happy that you are my baby girl, now do you know how we can act next time instead of stomping and yelling?" By now she is calm, thinking clearly and more rational than 5 minutes before. She will be looking at me and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS say something like "I'm sorry I stomp and yell mommy.....but I not like you when you cant hear me".

 LOL. Yea, that's my girl. She says it like it is. I'm pissed too when someone cant hear me, or I cant get someones attention. I just don't have the guts to say to someone "I don't like you right now because you aren't listening" LOL! Wouldn't that be something! ;) Katie is special in our family. All kids thrive HUGELY off of positive reinforcement and praise. Katie thrives off of it 100% more than any child I've ever met. Maybe it's because she is a middle child. She has a hard role to play. She wants to still be the baby.....(she will always be considered the baby to me) but she want so to be considered older like Laura. She doesn't know how she feels some days, and some days she has too much emotion that she doesn't know what to do with it. I'm proud of myself for finding what works with her. Talking her down from feeling angry. Isn't that what we all need? Katie has taught me so much this past to be more patient, that people are ALL different, that taking the time to have a little chat means so much to even a three year old. She has even taught me to actually say what I REALLY think. I think there are times that we all bottle up what we are feeling so we don't hurt someone, make someone mad at us, or simply so we just don't have to deal with it.

 I said before that Katie started running off to her room and slamming the door. I would try to bring her to the living room to sit with me (like I would have done with Laura) but it wasn't right for her. It wasn't and isn't what she needs. She needs you to sit next to her or in front of her and Figure it out. Work through it. How amazing is that.....a three year old can learn so much from a fit all while teaching her mama something too.

YAY for trips!!! WITHOUT KIDS!

 Nick and I went on our little weekend getaway last weekend. OH MY GOODNESS, it was wonderful!! We left early Saturday morning and got to our hotel in Eureka, Ca around noon. We checked in, rested for a few minutes and went to a nice little lunch together. It's funny, how when you go on a trip somewhere, it feels like you stick out like a sore thumb. As if the locals can just tell you aren't from there. Thats how we felt most of the time. Eureka is gorgeous and peaceful, but the people seem.....more small town than we are ;) Nothing wrong with that though!

 After our lunch we went to get a few things like popcorn for the movie we planned on watching that night, some drinks and random things like that. We brought it all back to our room and left in a hurry to the beach! We couldn't wait to see the waves crashing and feel the crisp air on our noses! It was definitely one of my favorite moments from our trip. The beach is always peaceful, relaxing and almost mesmerizing to me. Even in the freezing cold, I was so happy!

 After a few hours on the beach, taking tons of pics, skipping rocks in the water, playing in the sand and running from the sneaky waves that try very hard to soak our shoes......we wanted to go back to our hotel to get cleaned up for a romantic dinner. We spoke to our children for a few minutes before leaving for dinner which also was a highlight of the trip. Hearing my babies voices saying "I miss you mama!" "Are you in the beach right NOW?!" and "we are being good!" just made our trip that much better. Our kids had a great time at home with gma and gpa. They played, and behaved very well. I'm so happy about that. I was nervous to leave William over night. I have a pretty strict schedule for our kids bedtime routines and I worry if I am not the one kissing his chubby warm cheeks and tucking him into bed. I let go a little, which is easy since nick's parents are wonderful with our kids. So back to the trip.....

 We went to a local seafood restaurant, which turned out to be FAN-TAS-TIC!!!! I got steak, shrimp, a baked potato and salad. Oh my! My mouth is watering now just thinking about how delicious each bite was....YUM!!! Nick got some kind of pacific snapper fish, a baked potato and shrimp and clam chowder....we both were extremely full!! I ordered their version of a long island iced tea, which I love, but they went a little crazy with the alcohol, so I was only able to finish half of it. Dinner was so wonderful. We had great food, great conversation and great service!

 After dinner we decided to head to the hotel for some swimming. Well, I had no intentions of going into a pool.....I really only wanted to soak in a warm spa!! We had a great time relaxing while having the pool and spa to ourselves! So much fun!! We went back to our room when the pool closed and decided to enjoy our own jacuzzi that we had in our room. I've never had a jacuzzi in a hotel room that I've ever stayed at....but I highly recommend it!

 We decided to watch Bridesmaids and pig out on popcorn, and cheesecake. It doesn't sound like it would go together, but believe me.....anything goes with cheesecake ;)

 I didn't sleep well that night. Different place, different bed, and I wasn't with my kids. I thought about William a lot that night...if he was sleeping at that moment, or if he missed me. Total mommy moment lol.

 The next morning I got up right at 7. I swear I just wanted to start our day and get the most out of it before we had to head back home. We had a nice breakfast at the hotel, stopped by the beach again (which was even MORE beautiful) and had lunch at a cute little diner. We walked a 1 mile trail in the redwood forest which was....I can't even explain it. Beautiful. Amazing. Peaceful. Breathtaking. All of those words BARELY describe it. I have never heard such SILENCE before. I was creeped out at first because of how quiet it was out there. I'm so used to my fast paced life, full of my little ones voices, that the silence almost makes me uncomfortable....thats an entirely different blog LOL! Anyways, as we walked back to our truck, it began to snow. I was so excited and had to take lots of pics for my kids to see.

 We decided that it would be best for us to head home since the drive would take a few hours. It was freezing and by this time I was exhausted. We couldn't wait to get home to our little crew. They greeted us with smiles, hugs, and lots of "I miss you!!!" It was an absolute perfect weekend for us. We have been married for 7 years and this was the first time we were able to take a trip since we have had children. I really believe little trips are really needed and great for a marriage. You don't have to spend a lot of money, go to the fanciest places, or be away for too long. We left Saturday morning and were back at our house Sunday at 7pm. It was the perfect amount of time for us to take a breather from being parents. Yes.....some of us need that sometimes. And thats ok!!!!

 I'm glad we took that trip for us. It brought us back to being a couple......without being parents for a little while. Sometimes thats needed.....and will always always always be treasured.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

The countdown is almost complete!!!!

 The countdown to Nick and my trip (ALONE) that is!!!! On Saturday Nick and I will be going to the coast (3 hour drive) to have a small getaway (until Sunday evening). Just the two of us. Can you feel how big my smile is just by reading this?!?!?!?!?! :)))))

 The last time Nick and I went on a trip together was when I was 20 years old. Way before Laura came into the picture. We went to Vegas and spent the weekend. It was fabulous, but I can almost guarantee that THIS weekend will be even MORE fabulous.

 I think when you have children and work hard to be good parents, you can appreciate trips like this a little more.

 There will be no household chores, no waking up to children asking for a bazillion things at 6am, no being a referee to all the fights and arguments the kids have, no making meals three times a day and cleaning up meals three times a day. No bedtime routine, or bath times to worry about! WOOHOO!!!!!

 I am very much so looking forward to this trip, even though it will only be for one will be heaven :) I will be happy to come home to my little ones with a breath of fresh air! I will be updating you all on our wonderful trip soon....for now, I will count down the MINUTES until we get to RUN AWAY!!!! LOL ;)

My little boy is walking!!

 For the past two days, my son William has been walking everywhere. This makes me happy and sad. Happy that he is reaching these big milestones and exploring so much! Learning all the time and getting into as much as possible to expand his mind!
 It makes me sad that my little baby is not a baby anymore. I call him a baby, he looks like a baby to me still. When I cuddle with him at night while giving him his nightly bottle, I see him as my baby. By the way, the bottle before bed with milk in it, is just because I adore that time with him. I literally get teary eyed thinking about giving up the nightly bottle and rocking session.
 One year ago, I was nursing my son in my rocking chair and starring at his beautiful big blue eyes. I still do that to this day. How did a year go by so fast? I almost feel like I was punished or something because it went too fast to be perfectly honest.
 This stage in a child's life is so precious, yet so short. He is learning a mile a minute and copying everything we are doing. Walking was a hard one for our big boy....plain and simple...he was happy to be carried around or crawling. I think he has realized he can get where he wants faster by walking. Seeing him toddle down the hallway brings a HUGE smile to my face, but tears to my eyes as well. My last baby, walking. Sigh......

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Things that make me smile.

 The last blog I wrote, was about many of my pet peeves. Well today, while waiting for Laura at her bus stop I was standing in the warm sun, with a cool breeze flowing through my hair, and I thought.....I love this. I immediately felt the need to jot down many of my loves. So, come along with me while I list some things that make me smile....I bet some of them will make you smile too!

 - Waking up on my own. Not from an alarm, an animal or a child....but because I got enough rest and my body is ready to be awake. That feeling is wonderful.
 -Speaking of waking up...COFFEE! YUM. Now, I'm pretty picky about coffee. I joke with Nick all the time that I "like a little bit of coffee with my creamer." ;) I found the most delicious creamer known to man. It's a vanilla caramel from nestle. Oh my goodness....LOVE!
 -Being early to everything. I smile knowing that nobody has to wait around for me. I don't want anyone to feel like I'm messing up their plans or appointments. Just because I have 4 kids does not mean I can't plan well. So, being early is big on this list.
 - A random hug or "I love you" from any one of my children. This is the absolute best, by far. A hug because they see you and feel the need to give you love, I can't explain that feeling but you parents know it too I'm sure :)
 -When a person waves with a smile to let you cut in front of them while driving, or when a person in the grocery store says "excuse me" (with a smile), "thank you" (with a smile) or "oops I'm sorry" (with a smile). It's pretty rare in a grocery store that I frequent. I'm not sure why, and that makes me sad, but ANY time I need to speak to a stranger, I have a smile on my face. A genuine smile. I think we all need to practice this more often.
 - When things pan out just right. You know what I'm talking about. Those times when your plans need to mesh PERFECTLY for it all to go right. Timing, and pure luck LOL! I smile when that happens.
 - Any time I speak to my mom. I hang up smiling and happy. Sometimes giggling to myself about our conversations. Pure happiness is what I feel when I am speaking to my mom. I could be venting, crying or in the worst mood, and when I hang up I feel 110% better. Always.
 - When my kids and husband enjoy the meals I make. We all know as moms we work hard to put a good meal on the table. When I hear silence because everyone is digging in to the meal I made....I am so happy! I feel like I accomplished a very big feet when my girls who are extremely picky, eat what I make them.
 - When I finish a workout. It could be awful during the workout. Painful, frustrating and impossible!!! I just always feel really good when I finish a workout. I feel like I am making myself better by working out, and setting a great example for my children. :)
 - Every time my husband comes to me just to kiss me or hug me. We have been married for 7 years and I still feel butterflies when he puts his arms around me. When I see his name pop up on my phone from a call or text...I still get excited. I don't want that to ever change!
 -The warm sunshine. Not hot enough to be uncomfortable, but just warm enough to feel soothing. THE BEST!
 - Silence. All of us parents HAVE to agree on this. Hearing nothing at all but my thoughts is so beautiful to me. When you are young and kid less, you take that for granted. I cherish every quiet, calm moment I get!
 - The noise. Yep, even after typing my last LOVE, I can still say I love the noise of my family. With each little voice running through my house, I know that my home is full of love. The little voices won't be so small for long. They will quiet down as they get for now while my kiddos are small and squealing with joy everyday....I will enjoy it :)
 - Facebook messages, calls, texts or cards from my brothers Robert and Donnie. I miss them so much. Any time I can hear from them warms my heart.
 - When my dog or cats cuddle up to me. Love!!
 - When I see my kids playing together nicely, helping each other or comforting each other. I give myself a pat on the back when these things occur!
 - A good sale! I'm a girl who LOVES to shop, I love clothes, shoes, jewelry, name it! When I find a good deal, my whole day is better!
 - Heated blankets. Enough said!
 - The sweet smell of William after his bath. Ahh :)
 - Conversations with my children. No matter what they are about, I love hearing what my kids have to say. Their feelings, opinions and ideas are fascinating to me. It's so amazing to have a conversation with a 3 year old about her day in school. She will tell me every step of her day, from who she played with, to what her teacher said to the boy who was mean to another kid. She has a memory like I do....she remembers small details. I love it!
 - When my friends or family say something nice to me about how I am parenting, and truly mean it. I work hard to be a great mom and when someone else recognizes it, I smile :)

 - Cards. It doesn't matter the holiday. Birthday, Christmas, Valentines day.....I save each and every card I get, from each and every person that sends them to me. I have since I was 16 years old. You should see the top of my closet ;) I truly enjoy looking back at all the cards I have received over the years.
 - A good movie. I've seen SO MANY disappointing movies, so when I come across one that keeps my attention, I am happy! Recently we watched Water For Elephants, and I was blown away. I will be watching it again soon.
 - Writing. I enjoy writing. It doesn't have to be about anything specific, I have just always enjoyed writing. This blog has been a great outlet for me.
 - FAMILY. I have a big family, and it grew even bigger when Nick and I got married. I am blessed to have every one of these people in my family <3

 So there are some things I can think of off the top of my head. I love these things, and I bet so many of you nodded your heads when reading some of these too!! :)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Some of this mama's pet peeves.

These are some of my pet peeves. In no particular order, as these will annoy me more on some days than others. Let's get started, shall we?

1) When I see children out and about past 10pm. This drives me NUTS. Yes, some people have different work shifts which makes their family's schedule different than mine. I get that. What THEY aren't getting is that children go to school at the same time every day. They then get home at the same time and NEED a certain amount of sleep to function and for their brains to grow. Nicks knows, I'm a sleep freak!! From the day our children our born I instill a good sleep schedule, because I know their little bodies NEED it to thrive. There is no way a child who is 5 is going to bed at 11pm, waking up at 6am for school and feeling good. Please moms and dads, let your kids get the sleep they need!

2) When I see kids out in the cold with only shorts and a tee shirt. Sometimes I will even see kids with out shoes on. HOW are they not FREEZING?! I am freezing just thinking about it!

3) When I walk into Walmart, Target, a grocery store OR A PARK and smell pot. Yea, its disgusting, and I surely don't want my kids asking me what that horrid smell is. I've had to walk past a huge group of young adults when we were leaving a park and all my kids had to smell pot. I was more than "pissed". I was furious. Nick and I got the kids in the car faster than ever before....and then we called the cops. :) It wasn't the only time I've called the cops on these random hoodlums who think its "so awesome" to smoke weed in public places. I know, I in California at least, cops are pretty lax on smoking pot now. Well I'm not. It's foul in my opinion. Keep that crap in your house away from the rest of us, especially our kids.

4) When people spell my name wrong. I know there are SO many ways to spell Kristin. But if you are closer than an acquaintance, I will feel a little sting when I see it spelt KRISTEN.....especially on facebook when my name is right there ;)

5) When my dog who I love so so much, sleeps on the foot of my bed and wont move so I can get comfortable. I love her, and allow her to sleep there because I feel bad for her having to sleep on the floor....but PLEASE LACEY....MOVE A LITTLE!

6) When I go to the grocery store and the grapes, bananas and oranges are ALWAYS bad. I know it might not be the best time of year for these to grow (I'm not sure, I don't know much about those things) but when IS the best time for them to grow because I don't think I've EVER gone to the store and picked up the first bag of fruit I have seen and put it in my cart. I usually have to dig a bit. This annoys me a little. Sometimes a lot.

7) When I have to bring 2 of my kids to the grocery store and they are using great manners, but we accidentally get into someones way, we all say "sorry, excuse me" and there is no response. How can a grown adult not respond to a child that is using manners? Seriously, don't we want children in this world who HAVE AND USE manner and respect? Well ignoring the kids using these, is not ok. It's teaching them that using manners and showing respect doesn't matter. It's ok, I am doing my job as a mother and teaching them that some ADULTS don't have manners and respect. They will be better than that.

8) When I'm late ANYWHERE. Nick knows I want to be ten minutes if not more, EARLY to EVERYTHING, and it seems now that we have 4 kids, that we are late or BARELY on time more often than not. It doesn't matter if we get ready early and have things organized....SOMETHING will happen each and every time to make us barely on time. Drives me up a wall.

9) When I can't find a sippy cup. They are bright, and not really small. How can I not ever find them? Guess where I found William's sippy cup tonight? In my pantry. How did it end up there? I will never know, but somehow my son put his sippy cup in the pantry. I accidentally found it when I was getting dog food out of there. Silly boy! I wasn't annoyed when I found it, but I was annoyed when I looked everywhere for this neon blue cup and it was hidding all along in my pantry. I know it was probably mocking me! ;)

10) When my purse ends up being the "family suitcase". Hate it. I swear I'm going to start bringing my wallet and keys and that's IT! It never fails.....we all go out and each person in my family sneaks something into the truck and I end up holding it. Maybe I should make them all carry MY stuff? ;) myself some ideas!

11) When mothers act like being a mom, stay at home OR working, is 100% easy. We know you are lying. It's NEVER fully easy for any of us. Being a mom is hard, stressful, frustrating and overwhelming sometimes. I know there are so many great times. I love being a mother, and feel so proud and empowered by being a stay at home mom. But if we are being honest with each other, the fits, tantrums, new phases, and sleep deprivation (during those first few months) are sometimes hard to get through. I don't like meeting a mom who acts like her children are perfect all the time. It's just not real. Or is it, and are my kids the odd ones out?? ;)

These are some things that I'm SURE you parents can agree with. Feel free to add your own :)

A little girl, turning into a little lady.

 Laura just turned 6 years old and lost her first tooth about a week ago!! It was a huge moment for our little girl. It was a huge moment for me too :)
 I pulled Nicholas's first tooth and plan to pull every one of our kids first teeth (and obviously all of them that follow since Nick can't stomach it!).
 It's really amazing to me to see Laura growing up so fast. She is the one child of ours that I'm seeing a huge change in the past 6 months. Yes, all of our kids are growing so much, so fast, but Laura is making more of a change.
 Not only is she starting to get in her adult teeth, but she is changing her opinions and ideas. It is so fun to have a conversation with this little lady that ACTS like a lady. She will talk all day about her opinions on any topic. Mostly her siblings ;) The things she says sometimes just blows my mind. I forget that she is growing, not only on the outside but on the inside. Her thoughts are more of a young girl than a toddler. I hear "Dora is babyish mom", and that just kills me!! I remember when she HAD to have an all Dora room, so we went all out to make our princess her special Dora room. It didn't last long :(
 She now wants Hannah Montana, Icarly and the biggest of all....Justin Bieber (excuse me while I shiver a little). Where did my Dora lover go???!!!! I have to be more strict now than ever though. Sure I will humor the little girl and get the Justin Bieber microphone and nightgown.....but that is where I draw the line. I can not have my 6 year old who shares a room with her THREE YEAR OLD sister, have a poster of Justin Bieber in her room. She already has a small poster of Hannah montana and that was hard for me to allow. I'm trying to let her become her own person and feel free in her opinions.....but I'm still mom, and she still needs me to guide her.
 I guess that is what each stage of parenting is about. Guiding at an age appropriate level. This is hard sometimes, and even with having 4 kids, I'm still trying to master this concept!

Here is my little lady with her first missing tooth!

It's a new year, it's a new life....and I'm feeling gooooood! (Not really, I'm actually kind of sick!)

 Can someone please tell me HOW it's already 2012?? Seriously, 2011 went by so crazy fast that I can barely remember each month! So much happened in the past year (for everyone I'm sure). Now that it's a new year, so many people make new years resolutions.
 This year I don't have to add "lose weight" or "get in shape" to my list. FINALLY! I've worked hard to lose the baby weight and I actually weigh LESS than I did when I got pregnant with my little William. That is huge to me and I feel pretty proud.
 Moving on...this year I have a few resolutions.
1- Go with the flow and not stress about the small stuff. I REALLY will have to work hard at this one. I am naturally a pessimistic person (not something I'm proud of) and freak about about little things all the time. Thank god I have Nick to bring me back down to earth and make me see the bigger picture almost on a daily basis.
2- Get past the anger I have with my father. I wrote my last blog about this subject, don't want to get back into it too much. Moving past the anger will be great for me.....and everyone around me honestly. When a person is holding onto anger, it comes out in everyday life sometimes without knowing you are letting it out. This should have been number one because to be honest, its the biggest thing I'm currently working on.
3- Plan more playdates! I love them, my kids love them...but my busy mommy schedule sometimes doesn't allow for these playdates. My goal is to set aside time each week to bring little only baby who doesn't get to get out of the house to play with others at school, on more scheduled play dates.
4- Be truly happy with me, inside and out. I find that each time I have a baby and lose weight I'm happy when I see pictures of myself, but day to day life I don't see myself as looking that way. I see myself as if I just had a baby still. Maybe other mom's go through that same thing. I spent so long being big and pregnant that its hard for me to realize I'm a lot smaller now, and a lot harder for me to be HAPPY with what I do look like. On the inside I have a lot of things to work through (ie; my father, sad about being away from my family), but I am making it a goal to be able to look inside of myself and be happy with how I feel.
5- Plan more activities for my family! I know I already do a lot of this, but I want to do more. The cold months seem to keep us all cooped up inside, which is VERY hard for us as an Arizona family. We are used to warm winters (haha) and being able to play outside almost daily. I plan to come up with ideas for activities for my family to do outside of the home, inside somewhere else haha, when its freezing outside.

 So, now that I have my list all written in front of me, I can start working on each of these. All of these things mean a lot to me, so I will blog about how it's going from time to time :)

 Here is to us all having a wonderful 2012!!!!!!!