Monday, May 20, 2013

Nobody has it all figured out.

There are days that I go to bed feeling like I did a great job as a mom. I fixed any problem that was thrown my way, I caught a tantrum before it happened and redirected my child, I made all the meals the way I wanted, I cleaned like damn super woman, the kids played nicely, no attitudes......ahhh :) It's awesome.

Then some days I put my kids to bed and sit in my living room, starring at the tv, yet in a complete daze as to how I even got through the day. Today is that day.

I have amazing kids. Amazing kids that are amazingly human and have tantrums, attitudes, and argue with each other....and me. Some days I run through the list of "say this when your child has a tantrum, argues, has attitude, screams, hits....etc.", and NOTHING works. Its like I sit there looking at my child thinking, I JUST WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING I'VE GOT, AND YOU ARE STILL GOING?! What now?!

I'm struggling with my youngest right now. He wants to do everything his older siblings do. He is extremely close with Katie, and loves to play with her toys with her, but he is learning to SHARE right now. Sigh.....teaching these life long lessons aren't always fun! I am trying to respect Katie, and not make her have to share EVERYTHING, but William doesn't get it.

He has heard the word "dummy" and latched on to that sucker! I have heard the word dummy EVERY time he was upset today. Nick reminds me to ignore it, but my mind is screaming at me "don't let your baby turn into that kid that calls names!", but everything I'm trying isn't working.

Tomorrow is a new day.....a day I will wake up and remind myself that my son is learning so much at all times, and hopefully us making a HUGE deal out of the word "goofball" tonight will sink into his head, and he will ditch the dummy word. I'm not sure what bothers me so much about it, but I just don't like it. Maybe it's the fact that my 2 year old says it at the right time? How does he know that saying dummy when he doesn't get his way, is the appropriate time? I KNOW it's not appropriate.....obviously, but you get what I'm saying.

So, I'm learning that I can't have it "all figured out" ALL the time. ;) But it's nice to feel like it sometimes.


Just say YES!

I've realized lately that I say no a lot. That's not cool, right?

Today I woke the girls up for school, and immediately Laura asked "can you curl my hair for school?", my immediate answer....."no, it takes a long time".

I then continued helping the girls get ready and it occurred to what. Why would I say no just because it takes a long time? As long as we get out the door on time, then it shouldn't matter. So I got out my flat iron and her eyes lit up!

I stood there for 10-15 minutes curling ALLLLLLL that little girls hair. It is truly insane, to see how much hair she has. I WISH I had all that hair! So I sent her to school, and I could see she felt so proud to have curly hair, but more proud that I took the time to curl it for her.

I am making it a habit to take my time with things. To say yes, when I WANT to say no, just because it will cause a mess, it takes a long time, alllll the kids will want one, or whatever it is that makes me want to say no.

I want to encourage my kids creativity, even if that means an hour of cleaning paint out of everything. Or vacuuming up glitter (oh god.....I despise glitter) over and over again.

So today, do something that will make your children smile, even if you really don't want to deal with the mess or the time it will take. It means more to your kiddos than you think :)

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Being a stay at home mom.....isn't that enough?

I've been a stay at home mom for ten years now. Nicholas was 3 years old, when I made the huge decision. It was not hard for me....but it definitely was a big deal.

I was only 18 years old. A baby. I had just become Nicholas's mom and had no clue what I was doing. But I did know one thing. I would raise him the way I was raised. In a good home, with a good support system, and with me....his mom....staying at home with him.

For years I had people tell me I'd regret staying at home. I think people are foolish when they speak, without ever being in the situation themselves. It was not a joke to me. We certainly moved quickly into being a family....but I wouldn't change it at all. I look back and think "what kind of person would I have been if I said, no thank you, I wont have any part of raising your son." What kind of person would I have been if I sat back and watched this little boy grow up motherless? I'd be an awful person, in my opinion. I understand that not everyone can raise another person's child, but I couldn't wrap my head around being anything OTHER than his mom. To this day, I'm thankful I made that grown up decision, at such a young age.

I constantly have questions thrown my way, or random comments about my choices. We all have certain people in our lives that don't utilize their vocal filter, don't we? ;) I want to cover a few of those now.

One thing I get asked a lot is how I can afford to be a stay at home mom with 4 kids. Well one thing is for sure, we budget. For me, I think of it this way. My kids will get over not having name brand everything, all the time. But me being at home with them will have a lasting affect on them. Forever. THAT is more important to me.

I have been asked if I will get a job when William goes into preschool or kinder. My answer.....absolutely not. Period. I've been a stay at home mom for so long now. This is my life. I don't sit at home and just relax all day, shoot I don't do that at all until my kids are all in bed! I enjoy being with my kids, and volunterring in their classrooms. A very important thing to ME, is that I'm available to my kids, all the time. Nicholas knows he can call me at any time, and I can be to his school in a couple minutes. Same goes for the girls. I remember growing up and KNOWING that every time I'd get off the bus after school, I'd walk into my house, that smelt so clean and yummy with my mom there, ready to talk about how my day was. This alone, means a lot to me. I've been here every single day of my kids lives. This is the MOST important place for me as their mother, to be. Here.....for THEM.

I don't feel like I should be rushed into getting some random outside of the home job, just because all my kids will be in school when William is almost 4. I would love to go to school to be an esthetician or something that will interest me, but I refuse to let anything come between me and my kids. I want to be here for ALL of my kids. School functions, volunteering, I want it all. Why is that so hard for some people to grasp?

In my opinion, I'm doing the most important job in the world. I'm raising these children to be good, loving, intelligent people. Why does all of that have to end just because they all go to school? It shouldn't. My job will only continue in a different way. And I'm excited for that. I will be here every step of the way for these munchkins.