Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I need to leave myself a note!

 Everyday, I make Laura's lunch for school. She is in kindergarten and I just don't feel comfortable with her buying school lunch yet. I don't think she is missing out on much though! ;)
 I make sure she has plenty of choices in her lunch box, a juice box and the most important thing....a note. I write her little notes from mommy each day on her napkin. It makes her feel good and lets her know I'm at home thinking about her.
 She has absolutely loved finding the notes each day and even brings them back home so she can show me that she found it. :) I love it. It is just something we do.
 Today however, I forgot. No other excuse. I feel badly about it and am now sitting here feeling like she will be upset that I didn't leave her the 'mommy loves you' note, like I always do.
 I've been very sick for a while now....leaving me with a bad sinus infection. Not to mention, my 2 year old and 8 month old are both sick as well. I've been running around like a crazy woman trying to keep up with everything I need to get done and all the kids, all while trying to find time to blow my nose without crying from the pain.
 Today was an off morning for me. I needed Nick to take the kids to their bus stop since I don't feel good and would prefer not to walk down the street while looking like I've been crying for days (thanks sinus infection for making me look like this!). I made Laura's lunch this morning, which I normally do at night so it has a chance to cool, but realized we were out of juice boxes. UGH!! Why today?! Quickly I made a plan....I would make her entire lunch put it in the fridge and Nick would run out to get juice boxes before he brought Katie to school. He would then bring Laura's lunch, cold and with juice box, to Laura's class.
 YES! Mommy is awesome and fixes it all, even while being sick! I rule!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sure remembered that juice box, but didn't remember the note. :(
 The little things I do with my kids, mean so much to me. They might mean more to me than they do to my kids. Seriously. I pride myself on doing little things for my family. When I forget these things, I beat myself up over it. Hence, this blog ;)
 Little kids don't understand "mommy forgot because there was so much going on, and I'm exhausted". They sure do understand "why didn't you clean your room?", "I forgot!" though. This is why it bugs me that I forget things sometimes. Kids remember EVERYTHING (unless its the cleaning their room! HA!).
 Hopefully she will realize that there in no note to be found because I'm sick and we had an off morning with having to bring her lunch to school for her. Hopefully she will understand that mommy forgets things too. I'm only human and I have a lot to remember.
 Maybe I should write myself a note, reminding me to leave her a note.


Thursday, August 25, 2011

And I thought the baby stage was the hardest.....

Sigh.....I have to take a deep breath before I write this one out.

 I've been a stay at home mom now for going on 8 years. I won't say that I have loved or do love every minute of it. Because that would be a lie. There are moments (a lot) that I love and wouldn't trade for anything, and then there are the moments where I feel defeated, and like I don't know what I am doing. (yes, even after all of these years and all of these kids!)

 I wonder if there is any age where you feel like you've just got it all together. Hmm....

 For me with 4 kids, I know I have a lot more to learn and a lot of growing to do myself. I try to teach my children to respect others (especially adults), and to be kind to each other. To follow the rules, and to always tell the truth. I swear these things seemed so simple to teach before I had kids. HA!

 I've spent these years with my kids doing all I can, all I know how, to teach these.....manners. It's not easy. I will just put that out there. I lay down at night (most nights) wondering if I could have taught my kids in a different way, or said something that would have stuck.

 This all stems from last night with my beautiful daughter Laura. I will be honest.....mostly with myself. I have let this little girl slide with her attitude for far too long. My heart still sees her as my baby. She was my first. We tried for SO LONG to have her, and I cherish her (along with all of my children) every day. I don't want to be a mean mom, but I want my kids to have respect for me and their dad. That is important. I show respect to my children. They are human beings that deserve respect. They must also show it to others. Period.

 Well, Laura was tired after her 6:30pm appointment (she normally is in bed at 7pm). We picked up her meds at walgreens and I let her pick out a new nail polish. She decided to ask for every single thing that her little blue eyes could possibly see. All you moms know just how frustrating that can be! I told her we were not there to shop, I was letting her get a nail polish as a treat from me. She wasn't happy with JUST a nail polish.

 She decided to have attitude all the way through the store.....all the way through the parking lot, until she could plop her booty down in her car seat (trying to show as much attitude as possible). I knew right then and there that I needed to be more strict with her. She TRIED to embarrass me....but little does she know, I'm a mother of 4 that no longer can be embarrassed by her children. Been there done that....now it's my turn to embarrass ;)

 Anyways, I told Laura that she would not have her nail polish until the next day for the nasty attitude that she chose to have. I had a big talk with her. She (being very tired) cried the entire time....TRYING to pull at my heart strings.

 I swear this was like a light bulb moment for me. "Oh my gosh, she knows exactly what to do to make me stop lecturing her and feel bad". Not anymore. Mommy stuck to what I said. I felt bad....she was after all excited to get a nail polish, but these kids WILL show respect. It's just the rules.

 Best part........ this morning as I am making her lunch, she walks up to me, hugs me tight and says "I'm sorry for acting rude last night mommy". YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! VICTORY FOR MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I felt wonderful. She learned! I told her "thank you for apologizing.....are we going to work on having a better attitude today?" and she followed with a "yes mom" :)

My job here is done! (Ok....not really lol. I have many many more years and lessons to teach my children. Some they will love and some they will hate. My job isn't to worry about if they like all the lessons, my job is to teach them these lessons, and continue to support them and push them to be great people).

Pat on my back :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Those little moments of pure bliss.

 Each morning after I take Nicholas and Laura to their bus stop, I take William for a walk around our neighborhood.
 It's been cool in the mornings lately, which thrills me! What I love the most though is the quiet, and watching William look around in completely amazement. Watching as cars drive by, birds flying, stray cats running about. HAHA!
 This world is beautiful, but to see it through my small sons eyes, makes everything seem even more beautiful. He sees everything as great, happy, exciting. As a mother, I try to see things this way as well. Lets be honest though.....those day of ALWAYS being happy, and excited don't always happen. Life seems to clutter itself with laundry, cleaning, cooking.....those household duties that never end. William however, reminds me to really look at things, and to see the excitement in everything. William could sit for a long time just watching a tree as the wind blows the leaves around. I don't always do that. I will get frustrated that the wind is blowing my hair in my face as I try to corral four kids into our truck!
 Today though, I appreciated it. William was happy as we went on our errands, happy to have the wind blowing on him.
 My kids have taught me more than anyone to appreciate the little things. These things are so little, yet so important.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

School is back in session!

Most of my mommy friends know how exciting this time of year is. They also know how emotional, scary, and nerve wracking it is!
 My three older kids (Nicholas, Laura and Katie) started their first day of 6th, kindergarten and preschool, last Thursday. Oh boy.....it certainly was an adventure! Of course I was a basket case. I knew I might shed some tears, but the entire day I had to be strong and try not to cry (even though it didn't work so well). As soon as we put all of our kids to bed that night, I bawled like a baby!
 I cried when I put Nicholas in preschool. I cried when Laura started preschool, but this time I had three of my children all starting these big milestones.
 6th grade is middle school here in Redding, and this was a whole new world for Nicholas. I was and still am super excited for him. I know just how much he will grow and learn this year. I cannot believe my little boy is in 6th grade. I remember him being three years old and meeting him for the first time. The first time he called me mommy, and the first time I accepted being called mommy. Seeing him off to middle school is just amazing for me. I am so proud of him.
 Laura starting kindergarten was and is mostly nerve wracking for me. She now is at school for a lot longer than the preschool 3 hours, she rides the bus to and from school (AHHH!!!) and now eats lunch at school. All these things had me worry from the start! I am so protective of my children and to feel like one of my babies might feel scared or nervous, breaks my heart. Laura was excited for her first day of school, but sure enough....she had a kind of bummer experience. She didnt get to sit next to her friends at lunch, and cried. Nobody came to help her. This story shook me. Being a mom, of course I picture my little girl sitting there crying and everyone ignoring her. I wish I could have been there for her. When she told me this happened it took all I had not to cry in front of her. She is my first born.....all of my children are special and dear to me. But I have a special bond with Laura. I always have. Her second day did go much much better.....I needed to hear that so badly! Believe me, my husband knows! LOL. I am super proud of her for keeping a positive attitude and wanting to go back!
 Katie bug started PRESCHOOL!!!!! She is of course the youngest in her class, with only turning 3 next month. You wouldn't be able to tell that she is the youngest (except for how little she is). She gets right in there with all the others and has fun. She has always been our leader. She has a special personality, that we truly cherish. I was worried to be away from her though. She has never even gone to a baby sitter lol. She was strong and brave from the minute we stepped into her class. Wow....she just made me proud of her immediately.
Thursday and Friday were two very hard days for me. For several reasons. I learned to always be strong and believe that my children will be ok. They too have to go through moments in their lives where they will learn to be brave, to speak up, to be strong. I worry so much over all 4 of my children. I just want them to be happy. Life is not always full of happy moments, and that is ok. This is how we learn and grow. I have to let my children have these expiriences where they might feel nervous or scared. It doesn't make it easy for me....but I'm learning :)

Friday, August 5, 2011

Cook, Clean, Or Relax???

I am lucky to have a husband that takes the kids along to run errands. I'm even luckier that he tries to take his time, just so I get a little extra quiet time. :)
Usually when Nick takes the kids out, my first thought is "what do I clean first?".....but there are times (like today) that mom's just need to sit, put their feet up and RELAX.
Seriously, how often do you (if you are a mom) actually sit in the quiet and not do ANYTHING?! Yea....it's rare for me too. Our first thought is what can I cook, clean or fix while the kids aren't at home? It makes me really appreciate my own mom so much more. Now that I can see for myself how busy she must have been.
I am a mother of 4 and keeping up with them sometimes can be really hard. I get up when they get up in the mornings and our day doesn't stop until our little William goes to bed around 8:30pm.
I have realized that some people judge me as a stay at home mom.....thinking "what does she do all day?" Well DUH....don't you know how glorious a stay at home moms life is all the time? We sleep in every day as the kids play quietly in their rooms, we have trained our kids to make breakfast for US! We watch tv and play on the computer most of the day....rarely "dealing" with our children at all. We go to resaurants for dinner each night and go back home to sit some more :) HA!!!! I'm sure ALL of you stay at home moms are laughing now! ;)
 Let's be real though.....it's not all fun and games all the time. I have 4 kids to prepare meals for, I clean the house daily (and we all know after 3 meals a day its EXHAUSTING!), laundry doesn't do itself (but let me be honest here, my husband has taken on that load for the past year!!!!!),dusting, vacuuming and disinfecting is a must on most days with this many kids, we have playdates out the yin-yang, keeping our yard nice is a big task, and normal house maintnance. I could go on for days about the fights I break up, the owies I make better and the hours of entertaining I try to provide my children with.
I'm lucky to be able to stay at home....I recognize that. But I work hard as well. Just because I don't get up and go out to a job everyday doesn't mean I am not doing "jobs" around my home allll dayyyyyyy longgggggg.
I know you other moms get where I am coming from.
I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years now. Wow....8 YEARS?! It doesn't feel that long. I am proud to be here for my kids. It's not always easy, because believe me, I miss the daily adult interaction. But I feel like I am doing what is best for my children. There are times I say "I need a break...I'm going to find a job!" LOL ;)
Anyway, on days like this...when I only have my little baby at home (teething nonetheless) and so much to do around the house....I'm going to enjoy just SITTING and being. Because we all know that when my husband runs errands again, my first thought will be...."what will I clean first?"