We all know I had my tubes tied a few years ago. Honestly, there are times I seriously forget that I can't have anymore children. At the beginning it was hard. I would almost panic at the thought of not being able to get pregnant. If you know me, you know I'm a control freak. Ok not a freak...well, maybe a little. ;)
I hate not being in control....so months after having my tubes tied, I found myself upset about it. I felt like I had no control of my body anymore. But I was wrong. I made the decision to not have anymore kids. Not because I didn't like having kids.....we all know I love me a baby belly. I guess the newborn is a perk too. ;) I chose to make my family, a family of 6, on purpose. 4 kids....2 boys and 2 girls felt right. The boys share a room and the girls share a room. I couldn't imagine adding another child to the mix.
But lets dive a little deeper than numbers and rooms.....my sanity is good with 4 kids. Add one more.....might not be so sane anymore. I'm seriously OVER dealing with time outs, and tantrums. Adding another child, starting completely over? No thanks. I'm good.
I absolutely adored my pregnancies, and my babies....I adore them every day. Do I adore the rolling of eyes, telling kids to clean their rooms 4 thousand times, whining, complaining, fighting, and all the god damn sticky fingers?! Nope. It's all worth it....but I am so thrilled to see my kids getting older and growing past (kind of) those things.
I feel like our family is maturing together. We no longer have to carry a diaper bag, and an extra change of clothes wherever we go. We don't have to plan our schedule around nap times (is that a good or bad thing? I don't know).
I see William speaking clearly, and not so.....baby, anymore. There are times that I feel sad at how QUICKLY they are growing up, but I certainly am happy to be out of the baby stages.
So to all my friends and family with sweet little babies, don't mind me when I want to snuggle them for a little bit. My heart feels happy with a baby in my arms, but my sanity feels happy with a full night of sleep!