Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Older and wiser??

I like to think that I gain a lot of new knowledge with each passing year, and use it wisely. The truth is, I learn some things, and sadly, I don't always apply it.

More specifically, I learned about 5 or so year ago to SAY WHAT I MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT I SAY. But sometimes it's super hard to do that.

In our world, is it TRULY ok to tell other's how we really feel? Is it REALLY ok to tell people no? I feel as if it IS ok, but only with certain people. For instance, I can tell Nick ANYTHING. I feel free to tell him when I'm just plain pissed, or when I feel down about myself, or when I feel that he did something to upset me. I however cannot do that with other's.

I know that must be normal. Everyone MUST have "those people" in their lives that they just don't have that "thing" with. You don't feel free to speak your mind, all the time.

I have people in my life that I know exactly where I stand with them. Some people in my life, I can tell, consider me to be a big part of their world. I feel valued by these people. Appreciated. By some other's I feel completely unappreciated and almost.....a nuisance.

Same goes for my kids. I can bring my kids around some people, and yet other's I feel like they just consider them "in the way". I have surrounded myself with my children. And not everyone can understand that. I put them first. If you and I have a conversation and I see my daughter near me needing help, I'm going to completely cut you off to go help her. If my son needs to be held and rocked for a bit and we are on the phone, I'm going to want to hang up. Rude? Not in my opinion.

I feel as if now that I'm 28, I should put good use to what I've learned through the years. Give the people that value me, my children and my husband my attention. The people that show they enjoy every minute with me or watching my kids make a huge mess out of dirt lol! Those are the people I value.

The people that UNDERSTAND my life, and my choices. And even if they don't agree, they still love me. They still love my kids. THAT is what means the most to me.

I get a lot of "advice" on so much. Parenting mostly. From certain people I truly truly appreciate it. They know who they are. From other's though.....I feel like they are in so many words telling me "you are doing it wrong". "I did, or can do it better". "You are not his MOTHER". Yep.....

Most of the time I don't read into things. Nick has taught me to take everything with a grain of salt.....but sometimes I'm weak, and can't help but read into things people say.

My point here is that I have made a choice recently to surround myself with people who HONESTLY care. Who have made effort to be a part of my life. I don't have time for anyone that isn't truly interested in my life and my family. Period.

So here I am....all these years later reminding myself to be me. To be real to myself, and to remember that it's ok to say what I mean, and mean what I say.

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