It's been 9 months since the last blog I wrote was published. 9 months ago I said I'd be more active with my writing. I'm shocked that it's been 9 months. I really had to look at the publish date several times and thought, wow...I really procrastinated!
On a serious note....a lot has happened in the past 9 months, and I was really not in the mood to write. In a writing funk if you will.
My oldest son who just turned 17, moved in with my in laws last November. I thought long and hard about even talking about it on here, but I came to realize that there is absolutely no way that I'm the only parent who goes through extremely hard, soul shaking times with one of her kids.
I've been through a lot with my kiddos, but this move was especially life changing. I couldn't see any way to write about this and spin it into a positive. There was no positive in those first few months for me.
I woke up and went to sleep feeling like a failure. Day in and day out I thought to myself...what did I do wrong? But finally.....2 months ago I had a realization that I wish I could have had a long time ago.
I did nothing wrong. Nobody did. Period. I have to make choices for myself and my youngest children. My 17 year old has to make choices for himself.....whether I agree with them or not...he's going to make them.
I finally backed off. I didn't want to. He's my son...he's my boy. How do you just "back off". Well....you just do. Sometimes kids have to fall on their own. Sometimes kids have to figure stuff out on their own.
As hard as it was....as many people told me to...I needed to come to that point on my own and just say I've had enough.
Sadly he has moved out of my in laws home, for separate but similar issues and is now living down the street with his mother. I know....I know......I'm sure many of you reading that sentence now have their jaws on the floor. Pick them up my friends. You read it right. To be honest and frank.....he needs to be there.
We are all trying to figure out this new chapter, it'll be interesting and a learning experience for sure, but we will do it!
I'll leave you all with that for now. I have so much more to dive into, so please stay tuned and please.....forgive me for these next couple blogs....what kind of blogger writes on their cell phone!? This one....for now ha!!
Til next time.