Saturday, December 10, 2011

Happy First Birthday William Robert :)

 Wow.....has it REALLY been an entire YEAR?! I've thought about writing this blog for months. What I would want to say, what I'd want you to read when you got older. There are so many things I want to put into this blog....I think it might take me another year to write ;)

 William, you have been the most incredible baby. Your love for life is so beautiful to me. I knew you'd be exactly how you are now, when you were born. When I saw your sweet face for the very first time, all goopy and smooshed, I knew you'd be a happy, fun loving boy, perfect in every way.

 On the day we found out that we would be blessed with a son, I cried. Pure happiness fell from my eyes that day, and many days after. I prayed for you. You came as a surprise at that time in our life, but I did pray for you to come to us some day. We were blessed to get you sooner rather than later.

 On the day that my water broke, I cried. I knew I'd be able to see my son for the first time. I'd be able to kiss you and hold you all day and night (you got the memo, as you kept me up in the middle of the night for many months!).

 On the day you were born into this world, I cried. When I saw your face for the first time, and held your sticky body, I cried tears of joy. I couldn't stop looking at you, smiling and crying. My son!!! My son was finally here in my arms!!!

 On the same day that you were born, I cried for a little (or a lot) longer than anticipated. The problems with the epidural left me unable to hold you, or even look down at you. This boy that I wanted so badly.....that I prayed for, wasn't able to be held by me. I'd look at you across the room in your little see through bassinet, praying for the pain to go away so I could hold you, and nurse you. There were many times when I'd try to push through the pain just to feel you against my skin. It was the absolute worst pain in my life William. It was worth it. Every minute of the pain, every tear that fell from my eyes, every ice pack that froze my neck, heating pad that burnt my back, blood patch that took so much blood from my arms and filled my back, every step I took with excruciating pain thrusting into my head, every phone call to Gma B. with no other sound from mommy other than tears. It was all worth it and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat knowing I'd get YOU.

 You pulled me through that very hard time in my life. You woke me up each night wanting to nurse. I'd get up, and even with a back in terrible pain, I'd rock, nurse and smile at you. No matter how much pain I had to endure.....being your mommy made it worth it. Smelling your baby washed hair, and kissing your chubby baby cheeks.....those are the moments that pulled me through the pain. Thank you son.

You have had a rough year yourself. Being admitted into the hospital at 19 days old with pneumonia and then shortly after, readmitted with croup. Boy oh boy was it a trying year. We pulled together as a family, held strong and came through one of the hardest time of our life. YOU were what pulled us together. YOU were what kept us grounded, and centered.

 So here we are. One year later.....and on this day, I cried. I'm so proud of you, and love you so much. You certainly are bigger and more playful. You seem to be more sticky now and need many more baths then you did that first week of life. :) That's ok though.....bath time is one of the BEST times of day. You splash and play with an unremovable smile on your face. I have that same smile. :)

 You follow your brother and sisters through the house when they come home from school. You wait for them day after day to walk through that door, just so you can climb on them and play. It's so sweet and you should know....they truly enjoy it too.

 You wake up each morning with a swollen little face with squinted eyes, all warm and cozy only looking for mama and daddy hugs. We look forward to this every day. You have a beautiful bond with me and daddy....but I must say, seeing you with your daddy, as if you were old buddies, just melts my heart. Daddy walks around the house helping with chores, and talking to you about each thing he does. He doesn't know I hear him, but I grin each time I do. I hear lots of "Ok buddy, when you fold the laundry and put it away, you have to put the basket away always want to finish the job you started". He gives you pointers that I know one day you will understand. He is amazing with you, and because of that you are so in love with your daddy.

 William you have been a delight. A simple treasure in our family. You have completed this puzzle of ours, and because of that you are so special to me. You turning one has been hard for me to think about. My last baby, my boy is growing up. I want you to know how much you are loved. How much you are needed and wanted in this family. I love you dearly and will always be by your side. I am your biggest fan, and will forever be here to cheer you on. I love you buddy. Love forever, your mommy.

Here are some picture from your very first year of life. One of the more precious years you will ever experience.


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