Sunday, October 9, 2011

Being selfless isn't always easy...

 Being a mother has made me feel so many different emotions. In one single day I can feel 5 different emotions....just from staying at home with children.
 Being a mother means you are selfless. This is difficult at times.
 I knew coming into this that my children would come first, and there would be little time for what I want to do. Some days though, seem to feel like I forgot all about this. It can begin to feel like every moment is about the kids. What they need and want.
 I sat here tonight thinking to myself......being a mother....shoot....being a PARENT is HARD. I am so exhausted by dinner time that it's hard for me to think "oh wow, we still need to clean dinner up, give three kids baths, dress them and pick out school clothes, read and get them in bed." Usually Nick can see this on my face....I'm just tired. He can say one thing to me to give me that boost of energy to finish the night. I really appreciate that.
 Being selfless feels wonderful. It makes me happy to know our kids are always our priority. Though I'd love to wake up when I want to, not make one meal or clean for an entire day, and sit for as long as I'd like without having to help anyone or fix anything. That's not what moms do though....and to be honest, there are times that I struggle with being completely selfless.
 It's hard to be the fixer and the referee, the cook and the taxi. All the things that moms (and dads) do for our children become really tiring at times. I know everyone feels it. If you say you haven't you are lying to yourself.
 Be isn't ALWAYS easy and wonderful to give of yourself completely ALL the time. Every day. It's hard!
 I love it. I wouldn't have had 4 kids if I didn't. I'm just dealing with one of those days that I feel like I need a break.
 Just a break to THINK. How many of you have an audience when going to the restroom? TOO!
 How many of you have to run out of the kitchen while cooking to help 3 kids at once? Me...too.
 It just gets hard some days. The days that you are tired and just want some quiet.
 My kids are such blessings to me. I recognize that. I show that to them daily.
 As a mother, I also recognize how selfless I have to be, and that can be hard once in a while.
 I'm thankful that I have my husband that knows how to make me laugh and remember why I do love being a stay at home mom. And my children that can sit and read for a while giving me that 15 minutes of silence that I needed, the random hug or kiss and the I love yous make all my selflessness completely worth it.

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