I think people can lose themselves in anything. Being a mom, working, school, friends.....anything.
I lost myself in being a mother. Saying that makes me feel bad but its the truth. I've been in such a whirlwind of babies, toys, cleaning, cooking, owies, diapers, homework, playing....the mommy stuff, that I ended up just being....mom.
Yes, I absolutely adore being a stay at home mom. My children are the most special people in my life. But don't we need to be ourselves too? Don't we need to have opinions, feelings, stories, and hobbies? YES! At least I think we do.
Through the 8 years I've been a stay at home mom, I've tried going back to the hobbies I once loved. Painting, reading, working out, gardening, to name a few. But they just felt different. So forced feeling. So I've come back to writing. It's helping me to find myself again. I love that.
I am not completely lost, or completely changed. Just different. I'm digging my way out of all the diapers, temper tantrums, and sippy cups to finally see that I'm still here under the 20 pounds of baby weight still left. Yes I'm trying to do something about that. Admitting I have a problem is the first step right?! ;)
I am seeing my old self more and more these days. Like when my husband and I sit and watch a movie and I laugh about things that I forgot were funny. It's possible to do that you know? Or when I tell Nick about something OTHER than the kids or the house, and he is interested in what I'm saying.
Play dates, writing and one on one time with my husband are the things that make me feel like I'm still me. I am more than a mother. I am PROUD to be a mother. Proud of all the hard work I do....but I'm me too. Hi! I'm Kristin! ;)
I have opinions, and thoughts that go beyond my children, or laundry.
I have a lot of people that ask me how my kids are. I get it. We are moms and truthfully kids are what is on our minds most of the time. But I'm here too. Ask me about me. I have some close friends an family that ask me about ME....and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
Our lives get wrapped up in work, kids, and stress a lot of times. I know you all can relate....don't try to hide it ;) I'm trying to break that. My kids, husband and running a peaceful, happy home is what is my top priority. It will always be, I'm just starting to remember myself now. I like me and I feel like I'm learning all about me all over again. Maybe it's me getting older. I will be 27 next month and I am so excited to get older. When I was 20 I thought I had it all figured out, was set in my opinions, and things would never be stressful! Boy was I wrong!!! I'm wiser now, and can really say to myself...."Hi, nice to meet you.....you are funny and smart, and it's ok for your opinions to be different than before". I think we all learn as we go.....and we all get lost sometimes. We just have to remember to find ourselves.
I'm seeing myself in the mirror and really seeing me. Just me. I kind of like this girl.