Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm finding myself more and more each day....

 I think people can lose themselves in anything. Being a mom, working, school, friends.....anything.
 I lost myself in being a mother. Saying that makes me feel bad but its the truth. I've been in such a whirlwind of babies, toys, cleaning, cooking, owies, diapers, homework, playing....the mommy stuff, that I ended up just
 Yes, I absolutely adore being a stay at home mom. My children are the most special people in my life. But don't we need to be ourselves too? Don't we need to have opinions, feelings, stories, and hobbies? YES! At least I think we do.
 Through the 8 years I've been a stay at home mom, I've tried going back to the hobbies I once loved. Painting, reading, working out, gardening, to name a few. But they just felt different. So forced feeling. So I've come back to writing. It's helping me to find myself again. I love that.
 I am not completely lost, or completely changed. Just different. I'm digging my way out of all the diapers, temper tantrums, and sippy cups to finally see that I'm still here under the 20 pounds of baby weight still left. Yes I'm trying to do something about that. Admitting I have a problem is the first step right?! ;)
 I am seeing my old self more and more these days. Like when my husband and I sit and watch a movie and I laugh about things that I forgot were funny. It's possible to do that you know? Or when I tell Nick about something OTHER than the kids or the house, and he is interested in what I'm saying.
 Play dates, writing and one on one time with my husband are the things that make me feel like I'm still me. I am more than a mother. I am PROUD to be a mother. Proud of all the hard work I do....but I'm me too. Hi! I'm Kristin! ;)
 I have opinions, and thoughts that go beyond my children, or laundry.
 I have a lot of people that ask me how my kids are. I get it. We are moms and truthfully kids are what is on our minds most of the time. But I'm here too. Ask me about me. I have some close friends an family that ask me about ME....and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
 Our lives get wrapped up in work, kids, and stress a lot of times. I know you all can relate....don't try to hide it ;) I'm trying to break that. My kids, husband and running a peaceful, happy home is what is my top priority. It will always be, I'm just starting to remember myself now. I like me and I feel like I'm learning all about me all over again. Maybe it's me getting older. I will be 27 next month and I am so excited to get older. When I was 20 I thought I had it all figured out, was set in my opinions, and things would never be stressful! Boy was I wrong!!! I'm wiser now, and can really say to myself...."Hi, nice to meet are funny and smart, and it's ok for your opinions to be different than before". I think we all learn as we go.....and we all get lost sometimes. We just have to remember to find ourselves.
 I'm seeing myself in the mirror and really seeing me. Just me. I kind of like this girl.

1 comment:

  1. Kristen,
    I remember when I first met you. I came over to help move a couch into your first apartment with Nick...You were so bright and happy and I loved that I got to know you, even it was only for a little bit at first. Then you got married and you were so eager and ready to have kids. You knew that you were ready. You saw me go through one of the hardest things I have probably ever been through and you stuck by me. You listened, you talked, you called, but most of all you cared. That is one thing about you that I didnt understand at the time as much because I was so clouded and confused. Even if I didnt show it or say it very often, I really appreciated you for being such a great friend. Our American Idol get togethers....LOL...were seriously some of the best cures for my saddness. You were part of such a turning point in my life and I wish you were still here because the Lindsey that you knew back then is different today too. :) I loved coming over ans seeing Laura when she was fresh out of the oven! So cute and just so happy. Nicholas was such a great and gentle big brother and I know he learned a lot of that from you (well I guess a little from Nick too) :). I only got to know Katie for a short time but I knew she was brought into this wonderful family that you have created. Now there is William and though we havent had the pleasure to meet in person, what a handsome final touch to your family tree! I love the fact that you 'lost yourself' a little (or a lot) with your family because that is what makes you who you are. You never left, you just did what a Mom is best at and that is making a family that is as amazing as she is herself! <3 I will be turning 28 in January and I still search for myself at times too, I think that will always be the case and to think I dont have kids yet. So you may know yourself as 'just a mom' sometimes, but I and I am sure many others see you as a very beautiful, courageous, strong, and true friend! <3 <3 <3 Keep writing, you are great at it!