Today was a hard day for me. I've been having lots of those lately, for some reason. Well I know the reasons.
I've just been feeling overwhelmed, and stressed (and still having this sinus infection is awful!). Ha, I ONLY have 4 kids, what ever would I be overwhelmed and stressed over?! ;) I swear it's as if all 4 kids NEED something SOOOO important all at the same time, everyday. Katie get tired from being up early for school, and some days refusing a nap.....so she (like me) is crabby and just restless, which leads to a lot of whining. Laura is tired too, and she ends up being that sister that tries to annoy her brothers and sister. Nicholas, is getting older now.....and we all know what that means...MORE ATTITUDE! He hates homework (which I understand completely) but I am feeling exhausted with trying hard daily to motivate him. William is 9 months old and requires lots of attention.
I love my kids. I forever will. But I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I'm just exhausted.
Today we went to walmart to pick up some things we needed. I always feel hot in that store.....maybe its all the people there or just my anxiety when I have all the kids and there are so many people in such small aisles. Don't you just hate some aisles in stores?! Well there were lots of people in walmart today (why'd we pick SATURDAY of all days to go? Isn't everyone and their brother at walmart on Saturday?!) and it always feels like nobody is polite, nobody wants to get our of the way....and yet I constantly feel in the way and find myself saying "excuse me, I'm so sorry, let me just grab this item real quick and I will be out of your way, oops I'm sorry I didn't see you there...I will just scoot over this way a bit. I RARELY run into people with the same manners. (Thank you mom for instilling such wonderful manners in me!) It bugs me because having 3 or 4 kids with me out at the store is hard enough. Now I have to worry about finding my way through the store without being in other people's way, and I'm not getting that same respect back. Is it just like that in Redding? I swear it wasn't like that in Arizona. At least not that I remember.
Anyways, while there Laura and Katie are just done with being out and as typical children do...start touching everything, asking for everything, annoying each other, annoying ME!! William was tired and past his nap time. I wasn't feeling good from my sinus infection (STILL). It was just everything. I honestly recall thinking "what would happen if I just sat down in this aisle and cried?!" Obviously I would never do that, but I sure thought about it! ;)
We got out of there with no big fits or meltdowns (except the ones in my head!! LOL) and went straight home fore nap time!
It's nice to go out sometimes, but I feel like when you bring so many kids to the store, it is more work than enjoyment sometimes. I hope I'm not the only one that feels this way...
The past week has really made me miss my mom and appreciate her so much more than I ever had. She was a great mom to me and my brothers growing up and as a kid you dont see all that a parent does and goes through. Well thank you mom for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! It sure is hard work being a mom, and you have always been a wonderful mom! I'm sorry if I ever made you feel how I felt today LOL!
I'm trying hard to be the best mom I can be everyday.....but there are days like today, that I thank God for bedtime (and CHOCOLATE!!)!!!