Thursday, June 27, 2013

Mom guilt.

I am dealing with lots of mom guilt right now, and I'm trying hard to remember that I am doing a good job parenting (I think?), and that I SHOULDN'T feel guilty. But that's so easy to say.

I've been extremely busy this summer so far. Katie is still in school (a kindergarten readiness class), leaving the three other kids at home with me. With all the dropping off, picking up, errands, daily chores, daily activities, and of COURSE......children fighting....I am SO TIRED!

And I feel GUILTY for it. That's not fair!!

Can't a mom just be tired sometimes?! Why do we have to feel like we need to hide being tired, or burnt out? We shouldn't. It's normal, and if you DON'T feel that way ever, then I am completely jealous.

These 4 kids keep me so busy, that at night I feel like I ran a marathon, while pulling my kids along with me.

Is it ok to just say "find something to do on your own....I'm too tired to play"? I said that to my son today and immediately when he sat on his own playing I felt guilty. Why?! I've spent every day this summer playing with these kids, entertaining them, finding things for them to do. I need a break, and I'm NOT going to feel guilty dammit! ;)

But it's so easy to say that. Guilt is almost uncontrollable. As much as you tell yourself that there is no reason to feel guilty, (after spend your life tending to kids), the guilt finds a way to creep in. Leaving you feeling even MORE tired because what do you do??? That's right, you get up and play with the kids anyways.

Sometimes I look forward to 'quiet time', with a deep passion! I put a movie on, let the kids bring out blankets and pillows and we lay down. Most times, my youngest will fall asleep. But I can't just nap along side him....I have three other kids that would absolutely, take that time to find a reason to fight. So I'm here finding things for them to do, or SHHHHHing, them the entire time.

It's exhausting.

Most days, we are busy the entire day, and only stopping for our 'quiet time'. It's so needed, yet I feel super guilty if I sit and blog, or read.

I'm stopping that right now. I'm vowing to STOP feeling that nasty mom guilt, when I live for myself every once in a while, or when I feel tired and just don't want to play. It's ok. I'm going to repeat that to myself, until I GET IT!

I know you all feel mom guilt at times too, and unless you are neglecting your children.....then STOP feeling guilty! We are parents, and need time for ourselves, time to rest, and most of all, time to remember that we aren't robots, and that its GOOD for your kids to play on their own sometimes.


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